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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in yacob's LiveJournal:

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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
12:38 pm
Jacob McCann and his entire family died during the hurricane. There house was destroyed but they were able to find the bodies...I don't know anything about when the funerals are yet. I'm one of his friends and I thought I would let everybody know...So many sad things have happened. It's tragic that Jacob who was so full of life died so young. I don't know what to say. We just have to remember and try to be inspired in our own lives. The candle that shines the brightest burns the fastest...Hope everyone is safe and taking care.
Peace Love and Empathy
Sunday, August 28th, 2005
11:06 pm
here is a song I wrote back in Hattiesburg one night at 4 am while on a pinehill haints binge and couldnt get back to sleep because i scared myself. ive been listening to bluegrass songs about horrible deaths and was inspired to type it up. i play it at yacob shows & itll be on the new album oncet i have one. here's what i wrote about it the night i wrote it:

"i just wrote my first graveyard song!!
and it has an eerie saw solo part i figured out how to do while playing guitar at the same time!
it is creepy and disturbing as all bloody hell!
it makes me not want to ever close my eyes again! "

oooo dumplins and killin peopleCollapse )
Saturday, August 27th, 2005
12:32 am
when we played in madison, wisconsin in a tiny underground bar with a piano in the corner, i found that the "band dressing rooms" were also the storage rooms for the restaraunt overhead.

they had giant cans full of snails, and waiter costumes.

i found a big bag full of cherry tomatoes, and at first i was just going to take a few, but i kept running back to the room and coming out with my mouth stuffed full because i was so delighted at my discovery.

i ate every single shiny red one of them.

except i gave some to michael and sean and kevin but i didnt tell them where they came from.
Wednesday, August 24th, 2005
11:53 pm
just wrote/recorded a song called "heart-thumper". its all vocals (four different parts) with sporadic organ now; i am actually going to treat it like a song and let it develop and grow and exist in multiple lives/versions. sprouted in my head fullformed, melodically.
Sunday, August 21st, 2005
11:18 pm
sleepin under papers in tha central park
love is for fools and all fools are lovers
it's raining on my house and none of the others
love is for fools and god knows im still one
the sidewalks are full of love's lonely children...

read a story about a buried baby, finished a letter, played a show, am feeling 'heartbroken' like berlioz (my life and his are running parallel in some ways) over something that shouldnt even affect me. start school tomorrow. am absorbing myself in books and lots of musical projects (like a mad scientist themed opera involving more than ten people already involved with puppets and costumes and dance that i am doing some music/acting and the libretto/story/writing for) and writing and going through a birthday party phase again. happens when i sink deep into my head and im so self absorbed i could write a book or kill someone. i must convince myself in these times, my love is solely for the things which i create, and thats how i express and give it to everyone. force myself to be more selfless and monklike.

i am lucky to be a person who has intense experiences. all of the time.
Saturday, August 20th, 2005
12:36 am

(this was in austin, texass.)

Current Mood: beardo
Wednesday, August 17th, 2005
11:47 pm
Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
11:05 pm
it's been a long...long...........long time
i am really interested in small sounds. whenever i pick something up or find a new object my first impulse is to tap it to see what kind of sound it will make. ive especially become focused on this since my guitars are broken and i cant make big music, but my room is filled with instruments and tones i havent realized yet. the wonder of recording is that it can make something small sound big, i experiment with that, whistling or tapping pinecones or rubberbands can sound thunderously loud. this is what im constructing my solo music out of more now, minimalism and chords and harmonies even from multiple pieces of metal that might only make one note. tapping a fork on my hand. in high school after my cd player broke i would hold a rubberband up to my ear and compose songs on it so i wouldnt have to listen to the teacher. when i want to hear my unplugged electric guitar (r.i.p.) i need only to cover up my ears and bite down on the head of it and all of the notes are totally clarified resonating through my skull. at loud music shows i like to open and close my ears with my fingers or cups really fast to make it sound more interesting. tiny sounds are my favorite sounds because you never have to pay for an instrument (or not much) like a raisin box or a pen cap. my favorite beatles song is "long, long, long". i've listened to that a dozen or more times today and played it as many. i like for pianos to sound as quiet as possible, i like to pluck the strings inside, i like to tap on the pedals and not touch any keys, i like to listen to sea shells and paper towel rolls. i like breathing and heartbeats.

i kept a tour journal. i need to fill in some blank days that are still up in my mind but not yet on paper. its a couple hundred pages because i cannot differentiate between the importance of any event or experience because i am too amazed by all of them.

outside of several shows i played musical saw, in chicago i played broken trees and fences and a bulldozer scooper, in montana i played a hubcap and a knife sharpener antique bicycling machine and a big rotary saw, in duluth i played the side of the van, in seattle i played a cookie tin (and stacked all of the wooden folding chairs outside on top of each other in a spiral), in houston i played hollow statues made of metal barrels. putting my ear to the side of those was an amazing rush of sounds from under the earth.

Current Mood: applecinnamonveganwaffles
Sunday, August 14th, 2005
3:25 pm
tonight at ground zero at 8 for five dollars or something

come see what tour has done to us

the difference engine / karmella's game /etc

this is your first most chance to see any of us in such a long time!! get in touch with me if you need a way to get there & i'll see what i can do!
3:18 am
tonight is my first night sleeping in a bed in 16 days....
i have seen america, i am a vegan, i have a beard, i have seen all kinds of people, torn down and built up legends and discovered the paradises where id love to live.. i'm ready to do it again too. i know where my life is going now.
i miss my boys in the difference engine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we've been apart for too long. hours. we slept together for two weeks.
Saturday, August 6th, 2005
7:16 pm
this is why i love bernard:

he is with santini. i am in portland. i shaved off my beard yesterday but i think i won't ever again. i am still milking life on tour wa wa wa. grits time. oh yeah and today is my second 18th birthday. i spent it laying in some grass and enjoying people and the weather
Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005
5:57 pm

dulth minnesota is the best place ive ever been. i am making new best friends every night. im keeping a tour journal which is upwards of fifty pages now & i need to go write some more... our van transmission exploded and billowed out black smoke on the first day but we are all now crammed into my parents minivan. ive been vegan for 3 weeks or so & it feels great, i am eating and living like a hummingbird. in chicago i ran up and down tthe block bangingg on every fence post and gate and parking meter with a stick. ive also beeen doing some kind of music/performance art outside of/before/after every show, instruments including vocals, saw, a bulldozer, pianos, & the van. im gettin a beard. all my 'o's are long and canadian. in duluth people are named like african princes like kighle ollah. everybody in the world is nice and attractive.
Friday, July 29th, 2005
11:52 am


I am about to fufill my lifelong dream. i am about to make hundreds and thousands of people happy. i am only 18 years old. life is incredible.
Wednesday, July 27th, 2005
12:10 pm
i would like to encourage everyone to come to THE DIFFERENCE ENGINE CD RELEASE SHOW TONIGHT at 10 at picklefish in downtown mobile. if you desperately need a ride i will take you! doesnt matter how well i know you. it'll be my last chance to ferry people around.

i read the bell jar in about a day because i felt like i needed to. it was really amazing. im still kind of detoxing and today is supposed to be the last day but i might end up staying vegan because it helps with my body and bloodsugars.

we leave for tour on friday. i am so excited. here is where we are going and there are beautiful rumors about a surprise deerhoof set at one of our shows since theyre all gonna be there...

July 30th - Chicago (The bottom Lounge)
july 31th - Madison (the Corrall Room)
August 1th - Duluth, MN (kighle ollah's garage)
August 2th - Fargo ND (?)
August 3th - Minot, ND (The AMP in Minot) x
August 4th - Billings, MT (Yellowstone perk) x
August 5th - Seattle, WA (mr. spot's chai house )
August 6th - Portland (house show)
August 7th - San Francisco, CA (Hemlock Tavern)
August 7th - Oakland CA (The Bakery)
August 8th - Los Angeles (the Smell)
August 9th - Phoenix (the Trunk Space) x
August 10th - Albequerque (Launchpad)
August 11th - Houston (the Southmore House)x
August 12th - Austin (Beerland) x
August 13th - Alexandria, LA - (kevin's mom's House Show)
August 14th - Mobile (Groundzero)

see us if you like or can. a week or so ago i found a catfish somebody was letting suffocate on the pier and i threw it back into the water. i guess the fisherman was in the bathroom. i felt so thrilled.

today i am errand running for tour preliminaries like buying my own instrument....devices....and also taking pictures of pecan trees and the country side and car junkyards and hay markets and making shirts to wear and looking for s'more uniforms and usps address mailing stickers.

POOP JUICE: squeeze mosta halfa lemon, two spoons maple syrup, a fingerprint of cayenne pepper, a thermos full of water.

bring us games for inside the van or books that i can read or cassette tapes for my boomblaster, at the show tonight.

get sick get well hang around a ink well ring bell hard to tell if anything is gonna sell try hard get barred get back write braille get jailed jump bail join the army if you fail.
Wednesday, July 20th, 2005
5:46 pm


COLQUITT!!! (deathrockboy/ will brett)
THE DICTIONARIES!!! (jonathan mosman)

Current Mood: detox woozy
Tuesday, July 19th, 2005
7:45 pm

COLQUITT!!! (deathrockboy/ will brett)
THE DICTIONARIES!!! (jonathan mosman)

copy and paste this in your livejournal and tell all of your friends and bring them and rebirth the daphne acoustic scene and spread awareness of the dox board meeting tomorrow. we can make our own fun, bring instruments if you got em.
Saturday, July 16th, 2005
3:34 pm
ok so i havent had computer or internet in many weeks so here are some updates on my life!!!

-the difference engine has recorded our new album. it is the kind of thing to get obsessed over, i cant stop listening to it. i finished all the art a couple days ago and mochael and i stayed up late to send it off to the cd manufacturing plant. we oughta have 100 beautifully pressed cds by july 25th. some of the album art is in 3d, and if you have the glasses it will make you want to vomit cause it dont stop moving

-im going to try to have a save-the-dox-pep-rally show in mayday park on july 20th the day before the board meeting. as many acoustic bands as possible, i think ill be doing solo as yacob, maybe the debutantes will play. anyone else want to sign up ill be making fliers soon

-ive been taking more control of and thinking more about what i put into my body. i quit all caffeine and most sodas about three weeks ago and i feel so great because all of my energy is natural and nothing is controlling my body

-i am going to do a detox right before tour, i think on monday and tuesday i will eat vegan and give up sugar, then from wednesday for seven days im just going to eat raw fruits and vegetables and cleansing drinks and maybe whole grains. then thatll give me two days of easing back into veganism right before tour, then its peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for life

-i love michael and blakely and all of my bandmates. we are going to spend 15 days on the road in our van together spreading love acrost the continent

-im all fucked up from shows two days in a row. my body kind of is. impaling yourself/balancing on a mic stand yields a bruise in your chest, and trying to drink lemon water upside down makes a fiery feeling in your nasal cavity.

-last night i wrote a solo song that is kind of doowop/xiu xiu sounding...somee backwards vocals and percussive air sucking in sounds, with washtub bass and singing on top. i wrote it all last night unplanned. its about a soldier. here are the lyrics:

the battle is long over
someone left a marked path here
burning flesh and piles of rubble
but it doesn't go nowhere

i sold my arm to buy a suit that
would hide my bodys rust
it's tailored up shut where my arm was
but i'm scared of my homonculus

will it have a separate funeral
when i'm gone will it be here
when the sky is smudgged and you're all
trading water for air

trading waaaaaaaaaterrrr for air

-i want to start making acoustic music in a graveyard and play washtub bass and vocals and saw and trombone, a country/jazz/industrial acoustic band. the difference engine is futuristic music as envisioned 100-200 years in the past, this would be antiquarian music as envisioned 200 years from now. so all of the styles would meld together and it would be more rustic sounding than music typically is, and there would bee more folk and blues and jazz and classical influences cause those have been around longer than rock and roll

-sean and i want to start a straightedge hardcore band. like minor threat/born against/wrangler brutes stuff. sean is going to be the proclaimer

-i also want to drum for the debutantes if my life works out that way.

-lauren from buffalo is an amazing person. i wrote her a letter and a mixtape yesterday and we are going to be in a top secret musical project together. i will just make sure to get that tape to you before i leave on tour. also i need your address and you can buy a cd before then so i can mail it. lauren has a really positive childlike view of the world.

-this guy is giving us (the difference engine) money to help us be successful, which is good since weve never been able to afford anything. we are his current project. he is kevin's friend and is a mortician so ourr endeavours and ourr album all got paid for by dead people.

- michael clark is the funniest and nicest person ive ever met annd also the most amazing drummer. at our show two days ago he set up one of his drums in thwe middle of the crowd then ran out to play it during one song. he also does anything i dare him too

-i really like people

-my fortune cookie said: "Your ability to find the silly in the serious will take you far." In b
Tuesday, June 28th, 2005
6:41 pm
Gaston Julia, Fore-Father of Fractals: Appreciation Post

yeah he inspired that line in "they unfroze me in the future, man". he was awesome. gaston julia, you are still loved.
Monday, June 27th, 2005
3:44 pm
this is to every smoker here
this is how i feel. i think these things everytime i see you.

growing up is the path from being 20 years old drinking and smoking to being 40 addicted to pain pills unmoving in front of a television. its the same thing, a successive path of self nullification. sacrifice of choice. being a frightened inner child hiding behind a fake cardboard adult image of yourself.

Current Mood: the personal is political
Saturday, June 25th, 2005
1:42 pm
gonna buy me a pistol just as long as i am tall

i just got one thing to say:



Jacob "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" McCann

p.s. today is the day something wonderful is going to happen! to you! go find it! or we can go find it together!

Current Mood: hollow pretty robot
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